Great Spy Ninanokuba
by MonroeFishel
Summary: A Miniseries between the First and Second phase! With appearances by: Kakashi, Tsunade, Naruto, Lee and more characters of Naruto! Will the great spynin be successful on this dangerous mission?
1. Chapter 1

Great Spy Ninanokuba!

The village of Konoha …

The rays from the morning sun are reflected off of a pair of glasses, which were worn by a figure who sat atop the roof of Ichiraku Ramen. He wore a white T-shirt with blue jeans and canvas tennis shoes. He was about five feet eight inches, with an athletic frame. Most who saw him, usually mistook him for a child, but to those close to him, he was known as …

"**GRRREEEEAT SPYYYYY NINANOKUUUUUUBAAAA!"**

He shouted at the top of his lungs, alerting passerby. He immediately noticed his error, and leapt from the building to the ground. Today's mission was – oh yeah, today's mission:

_Get info on Tsunade. Then, return the information to me. – Jiraiya. _

Ninanokuba checked his bag.

"Let's see, string, kunai, the latest issue of Uber Ninja Monthly and – here it is…" he produced a camera.

"Jiraiya," Nina told himself. "I really hope you don't stiff me after I complete the mission."

Ninanokuba checked the to-do list Jiraiya managed to "sneak" away from Shizune, Tsunade's aid.

_9:00 – Morning drink at Ryouza Conrerstone. _

The spy walked to the popular "All-day bar and family spot," taking a seat at the entrance. He checked his chuunin watch, and right on time, the Hokage entered, with her dark-haired aid holding her pig.

She had the usual look on her face – irritated and groggy. Ninanokuba felt a pang of guilt as he checked his camera for film. He looked up to see where Tsunade sat. She was at the far end of shop, facing away, but a mirror was in front of them, from an angle, giving the spy-nin a grrrreeeat view.

_Good Lord … no wonder Jiraiya nearly goes into convulsions just talking about her. _

He remembered how Jiraiya started drooling talking about "accidentally" seeing Tsunade bathing in the hot springs a few days ago. He was doing this, of course, from a hospital room, with a broken arm and leg.

Ninanokuba shuddered a bit thinking about how he'd be punished should Tsunade catch him. Actually, out of the shinobi in Konoha, Nina was only slower than Rock Lee and Gai. As long as they weren't her bodyguards, everything was okay.

"Lee … let us protect the Fifth with our…"

Ninanokuba felt his heart sink. There was no way …

"**FLAMES OF YOUTH!" **Gai and Lee burst through the door, causing Tsunade to break the table at the booth she was in.

"SHUUUT UUUUUP!" she shouted back, as if in response to the "beasts" of Konoha.

"Rock, your first lesson in protecting the Fifth: Don't make her mad." Gai said, smiling, the usual ping in his teeth coming after.

"YES!" Lee said, saluting Gai.

Ninanokuba quickly placed the camera back in his bag, lifting the menu up to his face, hoping they would pass by.

"Grrrr .. why do you have to scream so early?" Tsuande said, her voice getting closer with each word. Ninanokuba peeked over the menu – and watched in horror as the Ffith sat down in the booth across from him. She glared in his direction before huffing.

"Where's the drink, where's the drink?" she asked no one in particular.

Ninanokuba had to act fast.

Looks like he had to use "that" technique…

Surprisingly, he felt no nervousness as he took out his camera. The plan? Take a few fast flashes, then run like crazy. Rock and Gai were fast, but could they catch a scared spy-nin? Has anyone ever caught a spy-nin who ran away like a little girl?

"NOOOO!" Ninanokuba shouted, raising his fist. Both Lee and Gai gave him weird looks, but gave him the "nice guy" pose.

Of course, replete with pings

FLASH

FLASH

"What?" Ninanokuba looked down at his camera, which he hadn't even had a chance to use. He looked across to see Shizune taking a few pictures, then – smiling back?

_Holy crap … does she know? _

"The ANBU Express Delegar? Version 2?" she asked, holding her camera up. "It's really nifty. Ultra-compact, very light, useful for taking pictures when no ones looking …"

Shizune felt a very dangerous presence – and it happened to be beside her, staring craters into the spy-nin.

Ninanokuba was a lot of things: fast, trustworthy, even drug-free, but he wasn't cool under pressure. He began to sweat bullets as he looked down, and read the exposure count.

_What the crap? 2? _

He realized his fingers were down on the shutter the whole time. Tsuande smiled, motioning to Lee and Gai, who both broke out their "nice guy" poses into "psychotic vicious body rearranger" pose. Ninanokuba was one step away from needing a change of underwear.

He gulped as Tsunade stood between them, a sight which would make the mightiest of ninjas take a step back. Ninanokuba's pupils shrunk as she placed her hands on her hips.

"Jiraiya?" she asked. Ninanokuba whimpered a bit before nodding.

"You can thank him when you see him in the hospital." She lifted two fingers. "Enough to knock you out."

Ninanokuba thought quickly as Tsunade's fingers came to him in slow-motion.

_That technique…_

He formed one hand seal, praying to every god known as his hand reached up.

"**SUPER BIG BUSTY FLASH NO JUTSU!" **He shouted snatching at Tsunade's upper clothing. It felt loose, even for the split second Ninanokuba touched it. In a flash, he sped out of the shop, his bag and camera intact.

to be continued


	2. Chapter 2

"It's a good thing I listened to you Shizune…" Tsunade felt the embarrassing hue disappear from her face.

_B – B – Black lace bra?_ Even Gai's mind was stuttering at this point.

"sensei?" Lee was in a state of shock. Gai had never seenLee look this way before. It was even worse than his fight with Gaara. Lee was knock-kneed and shaking all over. Tsunade fastened her top before blushing.

"Gai, you may be a great teacher, but even there are some things you can't prepare Lee for." She said. Gai looked down, nodding shamefully.

_Tsunade, I fear NO man has the power to withstand the awesome power of your – _

"Gai, I have an assignment for you." The Fifth turned.

"Yes, Tsunade-sama?"

"I want you to find Ninanokuba and bring him to me. More importantly, that camera. And Gai…"

"Yes?"

"You can use force if you have to. As much as you want." She smiled, sitting across from her aid.

"Lee, let us go … REAWAKEN OUR FLAMES OF YOUTH!" Gai and Lee broke through the entrance, on the trail of Ninanokuba.

- - -

"P – P – Pics. Ninanokuba, your skills are beginning to rival mine. I would be envious, but with results like this, it's less work for me." Jiraiya said, flipping through the pictures.

"Hmm, it seems in these, Tsunade became more and more alert to your plan. And Shizune has the exact same camera. Hmm, she's pretty good actually."

"How much for this one?" Ninanokuba asked.

"Hmmm, let's see. I won't get all of them. Out of 25 pics, I'll take 20. Burn the other five as fast as possible." Jiraya said.

"The money?" Nina asked.

"Oh yea - :"

"NURSE! HAVE YOU SEEN A SPY-NIN NAMED NINANOKUBA?" both inhabitants of the room, instinctively looked at the door.

"Ninanokuba, I'll send out my frog to tell you where to meet me. And um, Ninanokuba…" the ero-sennin asked.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" he said before hiding under his sheets.

Ninanokuba leapt out of the window, forming hand seals.

"Deceleration no jutsu!" he said, falling slowly before his feet made a small pat on the ground.

"Where now?" Nina asked himself. "I know!"

Ninanokuba ran to a small cluster of houses close to the outskirts of town. Surely, a childhood friend would help him out. He stopped at a green house with a black door and a small lawn in the front. At the door was a slim, white-haired man busy reading a book, which just happened to be written by a sennin.

"Ninanokuba. What are you here for?" he asked, still engrossed in his book fifth volume!

"Um, Kakashi old buddy old – "

"Spying again?" he asked, flipping a page. the picture-heavy fifth volume!

"hehehe…" Ninanokuba sheepishly looked down. "yes."

"Hmmm, you can stay for a while. Plus, I need someone to tell me when the sixth volume is coming out." He said, closing the door, of course, still flipping pages back and forth. The Number One, best selling picture-heavy volume!

Ninanokuba sat down, looking carefully out of his window. No signs that he had come here, and there was no one outside when he'd come to Kakashi's house. He walked to another window , and saw a view into another house.

"O-oh…" Ninanokuba was at a loss for words. Kakashi finally looked up.

"I see you've just realized Kurenai lives next door."

"Ku – Ku – Kurenai." Ninanokuba said, drooling. "I remember her."

"Yes, you _were _in the same class as her." Kakashi said, continuing his reading. Chapter six: Lulu and Marie make pie together! yay:)

"She's so … beautiful." Ninanokuba said. Kurenai was watching TV. Ninanokuba was lost in thought before Kurenai seemed to be reacting to something. She arose from her furniture and opened the front door.

"KURENAI!" Ninanokuba managed to hear Gai's voice through the window and walls. "HAVE YOU SEEN THE SPY-NIN NINANOKUBA? INFORMATION HAS LED ME TO BELIEVE THAT HE MAY BE HIDING AROUND HERE!"

- - -

"Gai …" Kurenai shut her red eyes, mumbling. "Can you please speak a little lower? It's still kind of early."

"THIS IS MY QUIET VOICE!" GAI – I mean, Gai said, clinching his fist. "THE ELUSIVE NINANOKUBA WILL NOT EVADE OUR GRASP THIS TIME!"

"Well, I'm sorry. I haven't seen him." Kurenai said, shutting the door.

"LEE! WE WILL NOT BE DETERED! LET US ASK MY RIVAL!" Gai said.

"YES!" Lee agreed.

Kakashi turned to Ninanokuba , who was no where to be seen. He returned to reading his book, expecting Gai to knoc –

"KAKASHI! I CHALLENGE YOU!" Kakashi's door came down. Of ocurse, Gai was there when the dust settled in his nice guy pose, with Lee behind him.

"Uh …" Kakashi scratched his head. Chapter Six: Finshed

"What are you here for? Ninanokuba?" he asked.

"YES!" Gai said, going into ultra-nice guy pose, but stopped midway. "HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT NINANOKUBA!"

'I heard you next door." Kakashi said, flipping to Chapter Seven. Lulu and Marie get clean – together. Yaaaaay:)

"OH! YOU DON'T WHERE HE IS, DO YOU?" Gai asked.

"not now…" Kakashi mumbled.

"WHAT!"

"No." Kakashi said. "I don't."

_Grrr, Kakashi, that attitude of yours. You're on a completely different level!_

level 23 coolness! Gai is only level 2 :(

"WELL, LEE WE MUST USE OUR FLAMES OF YOUTH TO FIND NINANOKUBA!" Gai said.

"But Gai-sensei, hat about the door?" Lee said.

"LET US WORK UP OUR FLAMES BY REPAIRING! IT'S TOOL TIME!"

"Yeah, just remember to do it completely. And please keep the noise down."

"WHOOOOAAAAA!" Gai said, his eyes aflame.

- - -

"Nina?" Kurenai rubbed her eyes, leaning against the doorway. "Gai just – "

"I know. I heard him." Ninanokuba said. "Before I leave, there is something I want to tell you."

"Huh?" her black hair was tussled about, in front of her eyes. Ninanokuba gulped a bit wondering what her reaction would be.

"I really – like – " Ninanokuba started.

"Like what?"

"Boobies."

Ninanokuba fell down as Kurenai slammed the door. He looked to his side to see that Jiraiya was good on his promise- even if it were at the wrong time.

"NINANOKUBA! ITHOUGHT YOU WERE BETTER THAN THAT!" she shouted through the door. Gai and Lee both stopped midway in their project.

"NINANOKUBA! YOU SHALL FEEL THE WRATH OF …"

Both Gai and Lee went through their various poses, finally ending in the traditional "nice guy" pose.

"THE BEASTS OF KONOHA! HUH?"

"The time it took you to get ready, Ninanokuba was gone. You know, he's pretty fast." Kakashi stated, still reading. Chapter eight: The Good, The Bad – and the Messy! all pictures! yay!

_Kakashi, that cool attitude. You must've been training!_

**LEVEL UP! **


	3. Chapter 3 FINAL

"Dattebayo…" the blonde-haired ninja burped.

"Thank you, come again." The patron said.

Naruto first appearance! and Sasuke him too! both left the shop, and bumped into a frightened ninja.

"Ninanokuba?" Sasuke asked. Naruto jumped up, pumping his fist.

"You are…" Naruto said, pointing, with an imaginary camera hitting him from two angles.

"**GREAT SPY NINANO – "**

Nina put his hands over Naruto's mouth.

"Nice to see you to, Kyuu – I mean, Naruto."

"Great spy-nin, what are you doing here? More covert work?" Naruto asked.

"Yes. In fact, I was working for Jiraiya." Nina replied.

"Ero-sennin?" Naruto asked.

"Tsunade's boobs again? He just won't quit." Sasuke said.

"Well, I guess you know by now, huh?" Nina said, rubbing his head.

"Hmm, do Gai and Lee have anything to do with it?" Sasuke asked. "Because I can feel their killing intent from here. And they are approaching very quickly."

"Um, if you see them, tell them I'm going to the Fifth. See ya." Nina ran off, leaving behing Naruto, Sasuke and two very determined taijutsu experts.

Ninanokuba stopped by the statue of the Konoha leaf. He prepared to move, but couldn't. He cursed himself, knowing full well who it was.

"The Nara clan was also alerted. Shikamaru, go alert the Fifth. I'm sure she'll be glad with who we've got." The leader of the Nara clan said.

Shika took one look at Ninanokuba, and tsked.

"How troublesome…" he wandered without any urgency in his step.

- - -

"You've got him?" Shizune said. "I'll tell Tsunade after her meeting."

"Okay." Shika said, leaving.

Shizune, excited by the news, burst open the door, revelaing Tsunade, Anko, Asuma and – Orochimaru? Playing cards?

"Do you have an ace?" he asked.

"Go Fish." Tsunade said, shuffling her cards.

"Fifth!" Shizune said. "Ninanokuba has been caught by the Nara clan. What will we do?"

"Bring him." Tsunade said, still focusing on her cards, no change in her voice tone.

- - -

Ninanokuba was help in place, holding his camera. Shizune and three ANBU members appeared, thanking the elder Nara, then promptly carrying Ninanokuba away.

- - -

"Ninanokuba, you are a very brave soul." Jiraiya said to himself. "You will be in my next book. The main character no less. It's the only way for others to remember you by."

The sixth volume: Perv-nins: Secrets! Special perfume edition!

- - -

"You are very evasive, Ninanokuba. I'll give you that." Tsunade said, with Anko, Asuma and Orochi behind her.

"But, taking pictures of people without their permission is against the law in Konoha. Especially of Hokages, and ESPECIALLY in a spyful manner!"

"is "spyful" an actual word" Anko asked Orochi.

"Since I'm in such a good mood, I won't hurt you." Tsuande said, walking slowly to Ninanokuba. Everytime she stepped toward him, Nina saw a moment in his life flash before his eyes.

Birth!

Mom!

Dad!

The Chuunin Exam!

Kurenai's Boo –

"And being in a good mood means I'll break only half the bones in your body." She said.

Ninanokuba looked around the room before his inevitable trip to the hospital.

There was: Shizune, three ANBU members, The Fifth, Asuma, Anko, Orochi, Lee and Gai.

In other words, any hope of escape would quickly be dissolved.

With the final thoughts in his mind, Ninanokuba shut his eyes, preparing for the worst. The wait was excruciating, and Ninanokuba opened his eyes to see Tsunade's – erm, yeah, coming toward him.

"Huh?" he asked.

"You passed!" she hugged him. puni puni!

Asuma, Gai and Lee were in shock.

"Even though you were in tight situations, and Jiraiya sent you on a death trip, but you managed to survive. Congratulations!" Tsunade said.

"But I got caught ." Ninanokuba said.

"Oh? Well, either way, the Nara's always catch everyone. They're really, really smart. Either way, you are now the head of the ANBU…"

_Huh? The greatest ninja squad in Konoh? I'm the leader?" _

"Picture-taking squad!" she finished. Everyone in the room fell, and Tsunade sweat-dropped.

"Your first assignment will be during the chuunin exams! Have fun!" she said.

"Oh, OK." Ninanokuba said.

_And with that, Ninanokuba went from becoming the great spy to the great picture taker. The name may not have much of a ring, but after the anointing of the Hokage, he is now …_

"**GREAT PICTURE-TAKER NINANOOOKUUUBAAAA!" **

the end


End file.
